Do What You Love to Do.

I didn’t have the best day yesterday and when I left work I had half a mind to cancel my plans, head home and dive under my duvet. Hiding from the world definitely seemed like the best option. But as I contemplated this, something inside me raised it’s head (just a peep) and I realised that as good an idea as it seemed, making an effort with my evening would actually make me feel better.

So I headed to the nail shop to get my nails done before meeting some friends to climb at the climbing wall. Now, to most climbers these activities would seem mutually exclusive. I’m yet to meet another climber with false nails and I’m always getting comments about my talons. But I learnt a long time ago that just because you want to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it the same way as everybody else. I want to be the one who breaks the mold, who does it a bit differently…what is it they say…’Do not go where the path may lead, go where there is no path and leave a trail’…I love that quote!!

When I worked on Camp America they thought I was crazy…I was always the one in the bright pink polka dot top or the huge plastic earrings whilst everyone else was happy in t-shirt and shorts. But I didn’t care a bit. I loved expressing myself through over-sized jewelry and crazy outfits. My fashion sense has definitely changed a bit since then but I’d like to think my sense of who I am hasn’t at all. And part of who I am is definitely tied up in the things I love to do…

I had a great evening climbing yesterday because its something I love, it clears my head and gives me a sense of achievement every time (I know if my climbing partner is reading this he’ll laugh because I’m usually moaning about how rubbish I climb…but I do LOVE it really ;). And it struck me last night that finding something you love can make you feel as alive as finding someone that you love. Finding something you love gives you a sense of who you are and where you fit; in a world, that is all too often, hard to make sense of.

I definitely don’t have all the answers. I still care way too much about what people think and some days I feel so lost I don’t think there’s a map on earth that will help me find my way. But one think I know for sure….no matter how much you want to hide under the duvet, you’ll always have a better day when you face the world head on and find the thing you love to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 things I learnt from watching ‘How to be Single’

So apparently it is OK to be single these days (even the movies have now caught on to the idea)…but if you ARE single then you clearly need advice on how to do it right (I’m pretty sure I’m failing in all areas) so off I went to see this latest Rom-Com to glean some much needed guidance.

1. BLOODY ENJOY IT

‘I  know breaking up sucks, but do you know what’s worse…wasting a night in New York city’

Now clearly we don’t all live in New York, but that doesn’t mean you cant enjoy  a night out, or a night in, or a new hobby. One of my favourite things about being single is the freedom…I can go out when I want, with who I want, for as long as I want and I don’t have to check in with anyone. Sometimes I take it for granted but at the moment I’m recognising that its a privilege. Being single means no compromising on being YOU.

2. Find a Wing Man

I am literally in Love with Rebel Wilson…she is ridiculously funny and, whilst her humour isn’t for everyone, I laughed out loud A LOT in this film.  She also had some fantastic words of wisdom.

 

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3. Do what you want to do

Use the WI-FI in the bar downstairs because its free. Date the younger man. Have a baby with a sperm donor. Go and see the giant Christmas tree you want to see, even if that’s means going on your own (you never know who you’ll met along the way). Do internet date, don’t internet date…who bloody cares its your life…DO IT YOUR WAY!!!!

Life takes us all on different paths and that’s OK!!!!

4. Make sure that what you have is actually what you want….

If you’re going to break up with someone to ‘find yourself’…make sure you really don’t want to be with someone….if you change your mind, it might be too late.

If you like someone…ASK THEM OUT for goodness sake, because really what have you got to lose? chances are that losing the chance with that person is going to be worse. So just grow a pair…unless you want an invite to their wedding (to someone else)

 

5. Not every relationship is meant to work out

It was so refreshing to see a movie where boy meets girl doesn’t necessarily last forever. Sometimes people come into our lives for a season… (obviously it helps when they’re as beautiful as Damon Wayons Jnr) sometimes people have other things they need to deal with first, sometimes relationships don’t last forever.

 

 

6. Part of being single will be spent looking for someone to be with

Although being single and hanging out with friends is a perfectly valid choice, there is also nothing wrong with wanting to have a boyfriend or girlfriend either. There is nothing stopping you from seeking out the perfect partner whilst STILL being strong and independent.

Now Playing #HowToBeSingle

 

Liebster Award

I am very  excited to announce that ‘Single in the City‘ has been awarded the Liebster Award for new blogs. I am so grateful to have been nominated by  Melissa at FabYOUlous Life; not least because I love love love this blog.  Melissa says on her blog that FabYOUlous Life is…’a place where YOU are celebrated for everything that makes YOU beautiful, unique and of course…FabYOUlous.’ Sounds pretty dam good to me. Check out her post 10-Simple-Steps-to-Make-2016-Your-Most-FabYOUlous-Year-Yet

In her nomination, this is what Melissa said about Single in the City….

Carrie Bradshaw’s got nothing on this girl. I love her spin on being young and single in a the big city (which happens to be London in this instance.)…thanks Melissa; Got to love the assimilation with Miss Bradshaw…she’s my second favorite ‘Carrie’ 😉

 As a Leibster Award winner, I have been instructed to answer 10 questions that Melissa has for me and then I get to nominate 10 other new bloggers to receive the award and answer questions that I pose for them. It is such a fun way to recognize and celebrate bloggers who are new to the blogging scene but who are already making an impact with their work. 

 To start things off, here are the answers to the questions that Melissa had for me…

How long have you been blogging?
I’ve been blogging since January; it was my ‘new thing’ for 2016. I studied writing at University and I’ve always enjoyed writing but somewhere along the way life got in the way and I hadn’t written anything other than a facebook post or a text message since my days at Uni. It’s great to be writing again as I do love it
writing
What inspires you?
I’ve always been the kind of person who lets my heart rule my head and I’d say the same about my blog…I like to write from the heart and I usually end up writing about whatever is on my heart at the time. ‘m also inspired by my friends and let’s not forget my fave TV show ‘ Grey’s Anatomy’ haha had to be in there.
What’s your favorite social media platform and why?
I’ve always been a huge fan of facebook but recently I’ve been getting more and more into instagram; mainly because some of the pictures I’m following are truly stunning.
Who is your biggest supporter?
It has to be my girls (they know who they are)…we have a Whats App Group and they’re always reassuring me abut my blog posts and giving me great feedback, encouragement and support. Don’t think I’d even be doing this without them. LOVE THEM ALL LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have a ‘day’ job? If so, what is it?
I manage a Sure Start Children’s Centre; Bessemer Grange, in Southwark. i love my job as i get to work with some great kids and we also offer a wide range of support to families.
Bessemer Grange Children's Centre's Profile Photo
What are your top 3 hobbies, aside from blogging?
Pole Dancing, Ariel Hoop and Climbing.
I’ve been Pole dancing for nearly a year and it’s great exercise, great fun and a great confidence booster. I took up aerial hoop this year and I love learning something new every week. I’m a big believer in challenging myself and it’s great coming away from a class knowing I’ve achieved something and managed to do something I’ve never done before.
I’ve been climbing for years but I got back into it last year and again I just love it. Its great for clearing your head as its very hard to worry about anything else in the world when you’re hanging off a rock working out where to put your feet or hands next. I’m off to Majorca in March to climb outdoors and its so fun to be away with like minded people enjoying the outdoors.
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What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
I’m currently in my trainers as I’ve just done a Zumba class…The only time I’m out of heels is when I exercise.
Do you keep a blogging schedule or just wing it?
I’m currently just winging it; which is definitely a bad thing as I’m realizing all the advice suggests having a schedule.
What’s been the biggest obstacle for you since you started your blog?
Definitely TIME…I need more hours in the day!!!
Now for the blogs I’m nominating….

Sciintilla: She says ‘My message is very simple: wear whatever you want and have fun doing it, be only yourself’ … definitely resonates with my own ideas about fashion!!

Sun Dragon Lady’s Cavern of Lost Words; This blog has really inspired and re-assured me that blogs can be about whatever you want them to be about. This blog features some great inspirational and thought provoking quotes.

simplylaura5word: As a Christian women It’s great to find a blog described as ‘insight into the word of God’ Laura is another  women writing from the heart and looking to inspire others. In my opinion she’s certainly succeeding.

The contented family project : Honest, real and funny. I loved ‘To the mother that wants to scream’. A must read for all mums.

Lifeanexperience ‘Life starts the moment we start living’. Feeling uplifted and inspired after reading some of the wonderful quotes on this blog. Great way to start the day. Raj’s words really struck a chord with me; great writing and some beautiful thoughts.

teachingtinyminds: From a teacher who writes – This blog will be a great resource for early years teachers. I loved the experiences of Forest Schools (which I’m also a fan of)

poundtravel As a keen traveler who loves exploring on a budget I loved some of the backpacker budget travel advice.

thinkoutsidethebox: beauty, travel, product reviews and more. This blog has something for everyone.

mummyinatutu: Katie says she’d wear a tutu everyday if she could…I love her already; truly a woman after my own heart. Check out her post ‘the one I loved, the one I lost‘ for a heart wrenching and poignant read.

So for these fantastic bloggers I pose the following questions…

  1. Why do you blog?
  2. How do you get new readers to connect with your blog?
  3. What’s the best thing you’ve ever read?
  4. What writers inspire you?
  5. If you could be somewhere else today, where would you be?
  6. What’s the best way to spend a Saturday?
  7. What’s the best bit of advice you’d give a new blogger?
  8. If you could get one celebrity to read your blog who would it be and why?
  9. What are the best and worst things about blogging?
  10. If you had to eat one food forever what would you choose?

Congratulations to all my nominees, it’s been so much fun reading some new blogs and seeing what’s out there.

Continue reading “Liebster Award”

Love, love, love….

So it’s here…Valentines Day. That one day in the calendar that can strike fear into the heart of any single person. A day that is extremely hard to avoid and a day ridden with pressure.

But…. its a day I love! The hopeless  romantic in me cant help but.

And I know I’m actually in the minority here. I know a lot of people; whether they are in a relationship or not, aren’t fans of the 14 the of February. Mainly, because as with all holidays, consumerism has replaced the real meaning with a money making industry that topped £2billion in the UK alone, last year. It’s rammed into our faces as soon as the tinsel disappears from the window displays and the shops capitalise on ensuring there is a sense of obligation to spend big.

But if we can see past the pressure to book the perfect restaurant or purchase the perfect card, what better thing is there to celebrate than love?…yes we should tell our loved ones that we love them anyway, not just because the date in the calendar commands us to. But how many of us do? How many of us get swept away in the humdrum of day to day life and so often forget? So I think it’s nice to take time out to say ‘I love you’. What better words are there?

Valentines day is being made to feel special by your new man after you’ve been so hurt in the past, proving that you deserve every happiness and that brighter days are coming your way. Or the rare date night you and your husband set aside whilst the kids are looked after by someone else. Valentines day is the newly married couple who don’t actually need the card to be written to feel the love in their home and their family. Valentines day is celebrating the person (or the people) who make your world turn.

And I got these snippets  of how today was spent from the friends who turn my world. The friends who make me feel loved. And yes I’m getting gooey and sentimental. But I don’t need to be in a relationship to feel the love that’s all around me (I know I’m teetering close to the level of sickeningly cheesy that most normal people can tolerate). But I like February 14th because I get to take a moment to appreciate ALL the people in my world who love me and all the people I love back in return.

I spent my evening with my housemates; enjoying a roast dinner, a couple of drinks and wonderful company. It was a lovely evening and I couldn’t have had a nicer end to my day. What’s more, I didn’t actually know that this was how I was going to spend my evening, it wasn’t planned, and that in itself just goes to show that we never know where the next bit of love in our lives is coming from. Maybe it’s just around the corner.

So maybe you spent today alone. Maybe you didn’t wake up next to your soul mate and spend all day gazing adoringly into their eyes (I’m sure that’s how most people will have spent today). But that shouldn’t make you sad. Because who knows what next year will bring, or the one after. And in the meantime tell your friends how important they are, or your family. Take a moment to tell the people you love, that you love them.

After all tomorrow is the 15th February…and that’s just an ordinary day 😉

 

 

love

 

Reasons and Seasons

I was thinking this week about the people who come into our lives and the purposes they serve. I’ve definitely noticed that some people walk into our lives for a season and others stay for the long haul. But even the people who stay for a short time can have happened along for a reason, and they change us, making a real difference to who we are.

When I was 24 I traveled around South East Asia for the first time. It was an amazing experience for many reasons but one particular time always stands out in my memory.

It was a Friday evening and I was heading to get some food in the Mall beneath the petroleum towers in Kuala Lumpur before catching a night train to Singapore later the same night. As the escalators snaked around and up the four floors to the food court I happened to glance down at the escalator a floor down and see a man heading up behind me. He was extremely attractive and I couldn’t help but smile at him. Then as the escalators continued up and around I caught his eye and smiled again (I might have also stuck out my tongue). Both times he smiled back. As the escalators reached the fourth floor I decided to stop at the top and wait for my mystery man and upon arriving at the same floor he came over to say hello. (I should probably point out that I was with a friend at the time who was questioning all of these moves)

We ended up having dinner together that evening and I discovered that he was from the USA and he was on his own travelling for 18 months. He was keen for me to stay in Kuala Lumpur for the evening to go to a party but I explained that our train was leaving in a couple of hours. I wanted to stay but my friend who I was travelling with wasn’t keen and so in the end I had no choice but to say goodbye. However, before I did, I gave him my phone number and suggested he include Singapore in his travelling plans. He was reluctant, but my friend offered her flat as free accommodation and he said he’d try and head down to see us the following day. I couldn’t take a number from him as he was travelling without a phone and this was back in the days when not everyone had facebook. As I walked away that evening I remember giggling with my friend that I’d been so brazen as to stick my tongue out at a guy on an escalator (It doesn’t seem like such a big deal now but back then it really did). Being in another Country, miles from anyone else I knew had definitely made me braver than I would have been normally.

I never expected to see the man from the escalator ever again and yet low and behold, the following day my phone rang. He had arrived at the bus station in Singapore having spent all day travelling from another Country just to see me. I’ve never been so shocked, or so flattered. We spent the next few days hanging out and exploring Singapore together before he got on a bus to his next destination and I never saw him again. I don’t think I needed to. We’d shared a lovely holiday romance and we both knew that that was as far as it was ever going to go. And that was fine. Great even. We had a wonderful time together and I learnt that sometimes its worth being brave and taking a chance. For him, he took a huge risk in travelling to another Country but sometimes life is about taking chances and letting ourselves follow mysterious, unknown paths to the most wonderful places.

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