I didn’t have the best day yesterday and when I left work I had half a mind to cancel my plans, head home and dive under my duvet. Hiding from the world definitely seemed like the best option. But as I contemplated this, something inside me raised it’s head (just a peep) and I realised that as good an idea as it seemed, making an effort with my evening would actually make me feel better.
So I headed to the nail shop to get my nails done before meeting some friends to climb at the climbing wall. Now, to most climbers these activities would seem mutually exclusive. I’m yet to meet another climber with false nails and I’m always getting comments about my talons. But I learnt a long time ago that just because you want to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it the same way as everybody else. I want to be the one who breaks the mold, who does it a bit differently…what is it they say…’Do not go where the path may lead, go where there is no path and leave a trail’…I love that quote!!
When I worked on Camp America they thought I was crazy…I was always the one in the bright pink polka dot top or the huge plastic earrings whilst everyone else was happy in t-shirt and shorts. But I didn’t care a bit. I loved expressing myself through over-sized jewelry and crazy outfits. My fashion sense has definitely changed a bit since then but I’d like to think my sense of who I am hasn’t at all. And part of who I am is definitely tied up in the things I love to do…
I had a great evening climbing yesterday because its something I love, it clears my head and gives me a sense of achievement every time (I know if my climbing partner is reading this he’ll laugh because I’m usually moaning about how rubbish I climb…but I do LOVE it really ;). And it struck me last night that finding something you love can make you feel as alive as finding someone that you love. Finding something you love gives you a sense of who you are and where you fit; in a world, that is all too often, hard to make sense of.
I definitely don’t have all the answers. I still care way too much about what people think and some days I feel so lost I don’t think there’s a map on earth that will help me find my way. But one think I know for sure….no matter how much you want to hide under the duvet, you’ll always have a better day when you face the world head on and find the thing you love to do.